Eff U and Your Precious Glass Bong

To the Most Horrible Person I have ever met.

you know what? i regret my decision to be roommates with you. i’m tired of your shit, and i’m tired of you.

you’re a horrible person who seems to think everything is about or for you. your attitude of complete self-entitlement is at an intolerable level. you’re such a horrible person that your parents can’t even stand to be around you, that they show you “love” by sending you money. just because you’re a jewish-american prince who hails from the upper-east side does not mean that you are better than anyone. you’re not. i have honestly never met someone with such little consideration for other people. seriously, you never think about how your words or actions affect other people, nor do you seem to care.

take, for instance, our group of friends. when we first met, you seemed like a decent enough person, i actually enjoyed being friends with you. but as soon as the 4 of us agreed to room together, your true, ugly colors came out. we all agreed, since you were the only male, we all would get along so much better if you didn’t get involved with any of us. and what happened? that’s right, you two started fooling around behind our backs. but you know what? because we’re such nice friends, we let the two of you continue your relationship, under the condition which YOU set stating you two would break up before we moved in together. but did you? no. you two told us to “go fuck yourselves.” thank you for ruining the dynamic of our household and the friendship the three of us girls had. all because you two wanted to play house.

you’ve ruined my best friend. you’ve changed her from being the nice, funny, innocently naive girl we all loved so much to a drug-addicted, inconsiderate female version of yourself. congratulations, you’ve ruined her life. her parents were right about you. and as if that wasn’t enough, you constantly put her down, telling her she “doesn’t deserve” you, “would be nothing” without you, and wouldn’t have friends without you. when, in fact, you don’t deserve her, you are nothing, and she had friends before you. and now, no one wants anything to do with either of you. you treat her like she’s your own personal drug mule, once again proving that you really don’t care about anyone but yourself. you constantly flirt with other girls, and everyone can tell that you and your “best girl friend” are more than friends.

you’ve turned on my other best friend. and this, honestly, astounds me. you two were best friends. since day one. what happened? oh, i know, you became the most insufferable asshole for her to be around. not to mention you lied straight to her face when she asked if you and our other friend were hooking up and getting together. you treated her like shit, yelled at her until she cried multiple times, and all because you didn’t get your way. you didn’t deserve her as a friend and you don’t deserve her as a roommate.

how dare you go around and tell everyone we know that my boyfriend and i “aren’t serious” and “won’t last.” how is it your place to say anything of the sort? it’s not your business, whatsoever. we’ve been together for over a year and are happily in love and committed to each other. and then you try and be best friends with him? how dare you!

you also have the biggest drug habit of anyone i’ve ever seen. and apparently, doing the drugs isn’t enough for you, you have to sell them too. it’s one thing for you to indulge in your habits, but selling them puts all of us at risk, but of course you don’t care. i wonder if you know that your former roommates reported you several times for dealing from you room? of course, by some devilish luck, someone warned you and was nice enough to hide your shit in their room. but did you thank them? of course not. you berated them and yelled at them until your face turned blue for “taking your stash.” you should have been arrested, but you weren’t because they put themselves on the line for you, and of course you act like an ungrateful fucking child. and now you’re considering making acid in our house? i want to know how many times you were dropped on your head for you to think that that is an acceptable hobby for you to take on. of course, you being the most inconsiderate person on the planet, you don’t realize that puts our entire house at risk. or if you do, that makes you an even bigger douche.

i haven’t even addressed how you’ve treated me. at first, i kept my distance from you, not quite sure what kind of a person you were. and of course, as soon as i let you into my life, and decided to be your roommate, your true persona reared its ugly fucking head. you talked shit about me and my boyfriend. you caused unrelenting, annoying, ugly drama. you threw a childish temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store because i didn’t pay as much for food for the house as you did; the difference being a measly 2 fucking dollars. you stole my ipod speakers, which i was kind enough to lend to you so you could use it while camping. i know for a fact that it’s in your car, yet every time i ask for it back you deny ever having it. i won’t even address the fact that you were away for the month and the house was spotless, and you came home and in not even 24 hours the house was overrun with all of your shit. i can’t even believe how you made such a mess in such a short time. but, being the nice person i am, i tried to clean up your mess. in doing so, i slipped on your car keys (which were on the floor for god knows why), and fell onto my twice operated on elbow, breaking your bong in the process. did you care that i once again injured my elbow, resulting in further nerve damage, loss of feeling in my fingers, a round of steroids, and possible surgery? OF FUCKING COURSE NOT. all you cared about was your precious fucking glass bong. how the fuck dare you tell everyone that i owe you $310 for a glass bong that got broken due to an accident was essentially YOUR fault. you want me to pay for your broken bong? how about you pay for my hospital bill, doctors appointment, prescribed medications, and surgery that came from my fall? i apologized to you profusely, but yet you still treat me as if i had done this worst thing imaginable. it’s a fucking bong, the fact that you spent $310 on it just makes you seem like a pathetic person. there is no way i will ever pay you back for that. that is the last straw. i am officially done with you.

i regret ever becoming friends with you. you are no longer my friend. now, you’re the guy i have to put up with because he’s my best friend’s boyfriend. when you guys break up, i will have absolutely nothing to say to or do with you. worst of all, you’ve made me feel a fool. i should have trusted my instincts to not become friends with you, and ever since i have you’ve been the worst friend i’ve ever know.

you know what is the worst part about all of this, though? no matter how much i hate you, how little i want to do with you, and how much i want to scream and yell and physically hurt you, i won’t. because no matter how badly you treat me, i could never stoop so low as a human being to do any of the things you’ve done to me. i’m a much better person than you, and i know that.

i just hope, for your sake, you realize how horrible you truly are and one day change your ways. i don’t care if that happens while you are still around me, because i’m beyond done with dealing with you.

and i hope you remember that karma is a much bigger bitch than you.

by  at Letters I’ll Never Send • August 30, 2011

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