08-10-2009

You hurt me so bad! I’m having trouble breathing. No one was as close to me as you except my mom, and even she didn’t know all my secrets.

You let my birthday go by ignored, which wasn’t surprising, but it did prove how you didn’t really want to be friends after all. I don’t know your previous intentions and I won’t second guess them now, but just by judging your actions alone, you don’t care about me.

Why didn’t I trust my instincts? You kept lying to me, telling me crap bs, stupid promises and declarations of love that were based on the moment and not your true heart. I should have listened to my 11th grade history teacher who told me to use my head to make decisions based on the facts only. But my heart wanted to believe you cared. I guess in this case my heart was wrong.

I have a date next week and it feels like I’m cheating on you. He has a lot in common with you, actually, which sucks. He’s black and a sci fi geek, except he’s more warm and expressive, which you lacked (you were a cold douche bag).

He even sent me a birthday card (without me having to hope) and wants to do something special for me. After being with you so long, that’s a first. I hope I can learn how to handle being with a person who knows how to treat me right!

Yes, you did nice things, but I realize those acts were driven by obligation and a sense of guilt, not passion. You’re an ass for acting like I was such a burden to you and blaming me for your problems.

Today I really hate you. I don’t even like your ugly name. It rhymes with pee and it’s just as stinky. You are holding me back and you aren’t even here!

It’s amazing how I can hate someone so much that I used to love. The thought of you repulses me—you with another woman, telling her your crap lies as you use her for sex. You’re probably with someone like Jamie, because you ____________ brothers are masochistic weenies who get off on women who cheat, call you names, and humiliate you. I never did those things to you and you treat me like garbage.

I guess I should laugh at you in front of your family and put you down like L does to your brother D (who is such a wimp…I liked him but he lets his wife walk all over him and he actually prefers to LIKE it that way).

Next time I am going to stay away from you a-hole “nice guys” and your “long-suffering” (as you characterized yourself) ways.

Ya’ll just want someone to blame for being irresponsible, so you can hide behind their apron, you wimp!

I hope you get kicked out of college; you deserve it for playing videogames instead of doing your assignments. You always lied to your professors and told them you had some kind of emergency. You’re full of it.

I know I deserve better than you and everyone knows that. They know what a jerk you are. E even said she wouldn’t put it past you to have a booty call; she never trusted you. Funny how I was so blind. I feel like such a fool for letting you manipulate me by acting like I was incapable of choosing my own outfits, meals, and everything else. You even put down my writing.

I just got accepted to a professional writing school, little do you know…