Eff U and Your Precious Glass Bong

To the Most Horrible Person I have ever met.

you know what? i regret my decision to be roommates with you. i’m tired of your shit, and i’m tired of you.

you’re a horrible person who seems to think everything is about or for you. your attitude of complete self-entitlement is at an intolerable level. you’re such a horrible person that your parents can’t even stand to be around you, that they show you “love” by sending you money. just because you’re a jewish-american prince who hails from the upper-east side does not mean that you are better than anyone. you’re not. i have honestly never met someone with such little consideration for other people. seriously, you never think about how your words or actions affect other people, nor do you seem to care.

take, for instance, our group of friends. when we first met, you seemed like a decent enough person, i actually enjoyed being friends with you. but as soon as the 4 of us agreed to room together, your true, ugly colors came out. we all agreed, since you were the only male, we all would get along so much better if you didn’t get involved with any of us. and what happened? that’s right, you two started fooling around behind our backs. but you know what? because we’re such nice friends, we let the two of you continue your relationship, under the condition which YOU set stating you two would break up before we moved in together. but did you? no. you two told us to “go fuck yourselves.” thank you for ruining the dynamic of our household and the friendship the three of us girls had. all because you two wanted to play house.

you’ve ruined my best friend. you’ve changed her from being the nice, funny, innocently naive girl we all loved so much to a drug-addicted, inconsiderate female version of yourself. congratulations, you’ve ruined her life. her parents were right about you. and as if that wasn’t enough, you constantly put her down, telling her she “doesn’t deserve” you, “would be nothing” without you, and wouldn’t have friends without you. when, in fact, you don’t deserve her, you are nothing, and she had friends before you. and now, no one wants anything to do with either of you. you treat her like she’s your own personal drug mule, once again proving that you really don’t care about anyone but yourself. you constantly flirt with other girls, and everyone can tell that you and your “best girl friend” are more than friends.

you’ve turned on my other best friend. and this, honestly, astounds me. you two were best friends. since day one. what happened? oh, i know, you became the most insufferable asshole for her to be around. not to mention you lied straight to her face when she asked if you and our other friend were hooking up and getting together. you treated her like shit, yelled at her until she cried multiple times, and all because you didn’t get your way. you didn’t deserve her as a friend and you don’t deserve her as a roommate.

how dare you go around and tell everyone we know that my boyfriend and i “aren’t serious” and “won’t last.” how is it your place to say anything of the sort? it’s not your business, whatsoever. we’ve been together for over a year and are happily in love and committed to each other. and then you try and be best friends with him? how dare you!

you also have the biggest drug habit of anyone i’ve ever seen. and apparently, doing the drugs isn’t enough for you, you have to sell them too. it’s one thing for you to indulge in your habits, but selling them puts all of us at risk, but of course you don’t care. i wonder if you know that your former roommates reported you several times for dealing from you room? of course, by some devilish luck, someone warned you and was nice enough to hide your shit in their room. but did you thank them? of course not. you berated them and yelled at them until your face turned blue for “taking your stash.” you should have been arrested, but you weren’t because they put themselves on the line for you, and of course you act like an ungrateful fucking child. and now you’re considering making acid in our house? i want to know how many times you were dropped on your head for you to think that that is an acceptable hobby for you to take on. of course, you being the most inconsiderate person on the planet, you don’t realize that puts our entire house at risk. or if you do, that makes you an even bigger douche.

i haven’t even addressed how you’ve treated me. at first, i kept my distance from you, not quite sure what kind of a person you were. and of course, as soon as i let you into my life, and decided to be your roommate, your true persona reared its ugly fucking head. you talked shit about me and my boyfriend. you caused unrelenting, annoying, ugly drama. you threw a childish temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store because i didn’t pay as much for food for the house as you did; the difference being a measly 2 fucking dollars. you stole my ipod speakers, which i was kind enough to lend to you so you could use it while camping. i know for a fact that it’s in your car, yet every time i ask for it back you deny ever having it. i won’t even address the fact that you were away for the month and the house was spotless, and you came home and in not even 24 hours the house was overrun with all of your shit. i can’t even believe how you made such a mess in such a short time. but, being the nice person i am, i tried to clean up your mess. in doing so, i slipped on your car keys (which were on the floor for god knows why), and fell onto my twice operated on elbow, breaking your bong in the process. did you care that i once again injured my elbow, resulting in further nerve damage, loss of feeling in my fingers, a round of steroids, and possible surgery? OF FUCKING COURSE NOT. all you cared about was your precious fucking glass bong. how the fuck dare you tell everyone that i owe you $310 for a glass bong that got broken due to an accident was essentially YOUR fault. you want me to pay for your broken bong? how about you pay for my hospital bill, doctors appointment, prescribed medications, and surgery that came from my fall? i apologized to you profusely, but yet you still treat me as if i had done this worst thing imaginable. it’s a fucking bong, the fact that you spent $310 on it just makes you seem like a pathetic person. there is no way i will ever pay you back for that. that is the last straw. i am officially done with you.

i regret ever becoming friends with you. you are no longer my friend. now, you’re the guy i have to put up with because he’s my best friend’s boyfriend. when you guys break up, i will have absolutely nothing to say to or do with you. worst of all, you’ve made me feel a fool. i should have trusted my instincts to not become friends with you, and ever since i have you’ve been the worst friend i’ve ever know.

you know what is the worst part about all of this, though? no matter how much i hate you, how little i want to do with you, and how much i want to scream and yell and physically hurt you, i won’t. because no matter how badly you treat me, i could never stoop so low as a human being to do any of the things you’ve done to me. i’m a much better person than you, and i know that.

i just hope, for your sake, you realize how horrible you truly are and one day change your ways. i don’t care if that happens while you are still around me, because i’m beyond done with dealing with you.

and i hope you remember that karma is a much bigger bitch than you.

by  at Letters I’ll Never Send • August 30, 2011

Go L%#@ Yourself, MotherLover

Justin-Bieber-Selena-Gomez-Eff U
It wasn’t lost on anybody that Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself was truly an Eff U Letter. Justin admitted that the song was definitely about someone in Bieber’s past but wouldn’t say just who.

Love Yourself

For all the times that you rain on my parade
And all the clubs you get in using my name
You think you broke my heart, oh, girl for goodness’ sake
You think I’m crying on my own. Well, I ain’t

And I didn’t wanna write a song
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care. I don’t,
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I be movin’ on
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back,
Maybe you should know that

My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone
And I never like to admit that I was wrong
And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
Didn’t see what’s going on
But now I know,
I’m better sleeping on my own

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself

And when you told me that you hated my friends
The only problem was with you and not them
And every time you told me my opinion was wrong
And tried to make me forget where I came from

And I didn’t wanna write a song
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care. I don’t,
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I be movin’ on
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back,
Maybe you should know that

My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone
And I never like to admit that I was wrong
And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
Didn’t see what’s going on
But now I know,
I’m better sleeping on my own

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself

For all the times that you made me feel small
I fell in love. Now I feel nothin’ at all
And never felt so low when I was vulnerable
Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think (you think) that I’m (that I’m) still holdin’ on (holdin’ on) to somethin’
You should go and love yourself

Written by Justin Bieber, Ed Sheeran and Benny Blanco 2015

Some artists just went for it. Eff U radio airplay!

An Open Letter to Employers with Ridiculous Requirements

April 11, 2013 by  

Dear Wayward Employer,

I’m writing you this letter because I was perusing your website and saw a job that looked awesome. I read through the description and everything about the job was me. Then I read the “requirements and qualifications” and found myself flabbergasted and appalled. I’ve done everything you describe in the responsibilities, but some of your requirements are…umm, how can I say this? Ridiculous? Kobe bullshit? And this is why you’re single.

I have five years of experience in this stuff, so I can talk ish and back it up. My problem? You’re asking candidates to have a Master’s and industry certifications, but you’re paying 35k. In the words of the graceful Sweet Brown…

degree inflation

I love — well, loved — your company and all, but this ain’t what my student loans are here for. This ain’t what my job search is here for. I’m supposed to be progressing professionally and financially. I don’t send money to my Capital One 360 (RIP ING) account so that I can take a job doing what I do well for less than I’ve ever done it. And I damn sure ain’t going back to school to get an extra degree just so you can pay me in monopoly money. F*ck. That.

Aight, so I just clicked another job on your site for giggles. An entry level customer service job to be specific. This sh*t is pitiful.

You’re requiring a Bachelor’s, experience with six technologies and a past life as a dragon. THIS IS AN ENTRY LEVEL CUSTOMER SERVICE JOB! If I was a college senior, I’d be tight right now. Tuition for telephones? Terrible. Just five years ago, this same job only required a high school diploma, a positive outlook, and a nice personality. But this mess you’re talking…

You’re lucky I’m at my computer.

You should read up on degree inflation and understand how much a part of the problem you are. Then again, you probably know this already and are ready to say “It’s a buyer’s market for employers thanks to the recession.”

Yes, we’re still coming out of a recession, but this foolishness you’re on will come back to bite you in the ass when things pick up. The person you get to take that 35k job will be gone with the wind as soon as the job market rebounds. Then you’ll spend the money you thought you saved trying to recruit and train his or her replacement. You’ll take a bigger loss than Ross… and I clearly don’t mean weight.

If and when I come back to your site, I’m sure I’ll see another ridiculous job posting. Maybe you’ll only be hiring janitors from ivy league schools, or secretaries with MBAs and five years of experience…for 30K. Eat 30K rocks.

Wayward employer, may you get stuck in a cabin in the woods with the ghost of recessions past. May you be slapped repeatedly by Dikembe Mutumbo, or covered in a thousand dirty diapers. I rebuke you, your insulting salary, and your ridiculous “requirements.”

Without Regards,

slim jackson

 

SingleBlackMale.org

Eff U Nose-Arounders!

Let me put this as gently as possible… If you are not my Facebook friend to actually be my friend than you can kindly click “unfriend” beside my name… Others who are here to nose around or get the scoop here is a scoop for you kindly EFF OFF… The rest of you thanks for truly being my friend ♥

Tammy G.

Fuck You, Fuck You Very Much…

Lily Allen “Fuck You”

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we’re so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harborSo you say
It’s not okay to be gay
Well I think you’re just evil
You’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces
Your point of view is medievalFuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touchFuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate
And it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Do you get
Do you get a little kick out of being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It’s approval you’re after
Well that’s not how you find it

Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful?
Cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
Your losing control of it and it’s really distasteful

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
Fuck you

You say, you think we need to go to war
Well you’re already in one,
Cause its people like you
That need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late
So please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

Written by Lilly Allen and Greg Kurstin
2009

You’ll Regret You Lost Me.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

At first when you called me 2 years ago, I was extremely happy, confused, and somewhat surprised that you thought about me -and even got my number..It had been 4 years since I had heard from you when I left that boarding school. I loved how we talked, we got along, caught up, and I felt so bad for my at the time boyfriend, I broke up with him for you. I ask you if you had a gf, you said no. I look on facebook, it claims you’re married to some chick and she’s writing all over your wall. I let it go, and you said you had ‘taken care of it’. You put me through hell for the whole of 2010-2011 year. You pushed me and pulled me, you made me feel like the best thing that’s happened to you, then you’d make me feel like I’m the scum of the Earth. And I allowed that! When we finally got together in 2012, I thought things would be right, but something did not sit right in my heart..I knew you still had feelings for her, but I had given up so much there was no way I was going to lose you. I gave you my everything, and you still continued to LIE to me, like I’m worth nothing. All those times I’d text you and you’d barely text back, barely call me, couldn’t even at least ADD me on Facebook…That said a lot. It really said a lot. Then you decide to tell me that ‘you still have feelings for her, you’ve been meaning to tell me but you knew i’d be hurt’ Well, you should’ve told me A REALLY LONG TIME AGO before I gave you EVERYTHING. You then have the audacity to ask me to help you win her back, and since I LOVED you, I was kind enough to say yes. And she disrespects the hell out of me, and you don’t even try to set her straight, or even at least back me up! You just took her side and said I was crazy. I was being immature. You fucking hurt me. After ALL that I’ve done for you, all the patience I had for the past 2 years, THAT is how you repaid me? You know what, even though I still think about that situation, I’m glad we’re not together. I still think about how much you hurt me. I want to get rid of this pain, but it’s so gosh damn hard! I cannot believe I fell for your lies. And thank you for being a dick because now I know; in order to love a good guy, you have to love a couple of assholes first. I’m so glad I’m free of you. I changed my number, blocked you on facebook, twitter, skype, oovoo and even changed my e-mail address. There’s no way you’ll EVER get ahold of me now. I don’t EVER want to hear from you again. And I know karma will come bite you and your girlfriend in the ass. You will truly be sorry for everything you put me thorugh, and you’ll wonder ‘why are all these bad things happening to me?’ Because of you, I’ve learned to be stronger, wiser, more level headed, and become more suspicious of men. Because of you, I have hope in the world that there are better guys out there than you. I will find a guy that is TWICE the man you were. Shit, you weren’t even a man, you’re a BOY. I do not wish you the best in life. I do not wish you happiness. I want you to feel pain before you can even begin to know what happiness and love feel like. You can go to hell. You can go fuck yourself. I will find a man that is so much more deserving of my affection, my time, my love, my kindness. I do thank you in a way because you’ve taught me a lot of lessons about assholes and now I can definitely spot an asshole when I see one. So deuces to your sorry ass. I’m moving on with my life. I’ll become successful, I’ll become happy, I’ll become everything I intend to be, and one day you’ll be sorry you ever took me for granted, and treated me like I’m nothing. So, fuck you, and go rot in hell along with your rude, obnoxious, immature 23 year old girlfriend who acts like an 18 year old. You’ll regret you lost me one day.

Sincerely yours,

R.N

Source: http://everythingsnotlost-x.tumblr.com/

I Can’t Get Over You Getting Over Me

 

It was a title match

I was a twelfth-round knock-out

I wasn’t morning sun

But you were a midnight black-out

 

You took me up and down

On your rollercoaster

Less up than down

But I would have killed anyone for you

 

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

 

You were a marathon

That left me so exhausted

Body and mind

And thoroughly disgusted with myself

 

When you’d say jump

Everyone was at your service

And when you got that look

You made everybody nervous

 

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

 

Bridge

Maybe I stayed too long

And then I couldn’t wait to escape

Maybe I left too soon

And you were just about to change

 

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

 

You left me twisted

More broken than bent

Is the new guy a prince

Does he like your stupid friends?

 

I’m still wounded

And I can’t stop the bleeding

I apply pressure

But I still regret not cheating that one time

 

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

And I can’t get over you getting over me

 

 

 

I Can’t Get Over You Getting Over Me

Words and Music by Chad Gendron 2011